The adventures of ‘Swivel hips’
“i’ve nicknamed you swivel hips”
That is what a lady said to me the other day, i had only spent about half an hour in her company and she had already coined a cutsey name for me. I was surrounded by alot of blokes, pretty blokey blokes too, engineers, ute driving blokes – generally not the sort of guys you want to be surrounded by when a lady calls you ‘swivel hips’. But despite this, i was rather chuffed at the compliment to my hips. You see we were playing Oz tag at the time and ( i’ll be honest with you) I was carving up the opposition like a molten hot knife through microwave softened butter. I would get the ball and just duck and dive this way and that, it was like i could read exactly where they thought i was going to go and i’d just go the other way. I was in control and dominating them. I think i scored three or four tries – yeah I seriously rocked! And it was for this reason that i graciously accepted the nick name ‘Swivel hips’.
Now the story could end there, but i think that that would be pushing the ‘omiting certain details’ rule right over into the ‘telling a bit of a porky’ side of the school yard. See, as it turns out we were playing a ladies team that night – i ran rings around a bunch of girls. Now the other thing is that I didn’t pass the ball at all. When i get it, i run. I can’t think of anything else, i just make up some ground and I do my weaving thing. I know that this sounds terribly selfish and hoggish, but have you ever actually played oz tag? It is alot harder than it may appear to pass the ball – i’m alright with the catching and throwing, but the reading of the play is harder than reciting shakespeare backwards. There are plays, switchbacks, calls, dummies – it is all very complex. I see other players doing it while i am sitting on the side, but as soon as i get the ball, i put my blinkers on and think of nothing else but skimming through the opposing team.
So i think i might have to really knuckle down and try to do a few passes, dummies and superballcutbacks or whatever. I’ll work on that, but in the mean time swivel hips rules!