notes from the road

Bottle this

If feelings could be bottled and sold I think I may have stumbled on a surprise top seller for under the Chrissy tree this year. No it is not Calvin Klein’s ‘Excitement you get when a hand written letter is received in the mail’, Dolce and Gabbana’s ‘Relief felt when the person walking next to you steps in dog pooh and not you’, or Hugo Boss’ ‘Pride felt when you fluke a ridiculously hard trivia question having  seen a documentary on it the night before’. No, this feeling that I am referring to has not seemed as obvious to me as those, and interestingly it is only when I am without it that I really notice it the most. It is the feeling of accomplishment – having done lots of hard, exhausting work and then relaxing afterwards and not feeling in the slightest bit guilty about it. Since Uni finished I’ve felt like I haven’t really achieved much – for the simple reason that I haven’t – my feeling can be quite accurate at times. Despite setting domestic chores for myself and fiddling with the computer I just don’t feel any real sense of achievement at the end of everyday and it makes me feel quite uneasy. Yesterday when I was sprawled on the leather lounge watching television, I found myself yearning for the seventy hour week of burr spraying that I did on a farm just outside Barabba a year or so ago. Waking up early, walking around in the sun all day and going to sleep at nine each night exhausted. This struck me as being quite odd as during that week I’m pretty sure I was looking forward to veging out on the lounge.  So perhaps this feeling only exists after all the hard work is done? Either way I’ve decided to pick up some work to get some much needed funds and hopefully this will provide me with this bottlable feeling.

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