notes from the road

What AM I doing here?


I had a new experience today. At the Bahai devotional and cluster meeting that I attended on 11th st this morning I introduced myself to many people as usual and as usual was asked the first of the introductory questions ‘What are you doing here?’. Up till now I have been only a few things in a few places. ‘I’m a student; I’m saving to go to Uni; I’m a Uni student; I’m saving to go to do an internship in America; I’m an intern; I’m traveling around; and now I’m…not sure. I gave my answer as ‘finished traveling and ended up here, and hey, you’ve got to live somewhere’. I omitted my business aspirations and most of my future plans – I’m just here to exist. Which isn’t really a good way to be, because you never know how long it might be for. What if nothing comes up and for the rest of my life I am just somewhere because I’ve got to be somewhere, working just to survive. Now that sounds like the right road to drive down if you want your destination to be a wasted life. But, I don’t know if just being to exist for any period of time regardless of how short makes a case any different, it’s all wasted time, and that is all you have in life. Though in fairness, I don’t think that is all I am doing here, sure the work seems a bit that way – but in doing so I am successfully (viably) living in New York and experiencing a different culture. It just felt a bit odd telling people that this is what I did, and in fact sort of thrilling in feeling other peoples opinions of me – pity, admiration and either relief or jealousy that they weren’t in my position. A position where I can try out lots of crazy things – like modeling.

I started doing a bit of homework today to improve my knowledge of what I am about to get myself into, and I found a few helpful pointers. Drink lots of water everyday the day before to improve your skin (I drank about two litres over the last four hours), wear clothes that are clean, ironed and look like new (I’m wearing my jeans with a hole in the crotch and four year old over shirt), shave that day (I shaved tonight – one step ahead!) and be confident (I am). I also picked up a few hints on posing, like bending everything that can bend just a little bit, keeping asymmetrical and looking slightly off from the camera. It should be a whole lot of fun and I’m viewing it as an opportunity to have a new experience (though if it ever pays I won’t complain). As to be honest, I really don’t know what I am getting myself in for. I think it is a agency that wants to take some head shots for a portfolio for me to try and get me modeling gigs of which they take a percentage of my pay. But I could be quite wrong. They did mention that I don’t have to pay them any money for the photos, so that is at least a start. Though whether it will come to money later on down the track is another thing. Something a little odd is that they called me twice to tell me that they have “changed their location to a different address”. I would have thought that would be quite a process, and not the sort of thing that happens over a day or two, but I am quite new to the modeling business. Hmm, perhaps it is all a scam and I am being set up and will be asked to pay money for them to take me on as my agent. Hmm, all will be revealed tomorrow!


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